Let His Love Fill the Need

Matthew 11

 28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

 29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light.

I believe within each us there is a need.  A need that can be filled with different ideas, feelings, and thoughts.  The way we fill this need shows where we put our trust.  This is our motivation to change. This is how we work to meet our individual goals, whatever they may be.

For most of my life I know that I have used guilt, negative thoughts, shame, and constant remembrance of everything that is wrong with me to motivate me to change.  Has this worked?  Honestly, yes sometimes it has.  There have been times I have motivated myself to go without food or run faster by telling myself how fat I am.  There are times where I have been nicer to my brother by telling myself what a horrible sister I am and how I have ruined his life.  There are times where I have spent more time trying to be smarter by telling myself I was stupid and lazy.  But have these "motivating" thoughts made a lasting positive change in my behaviors?  NO!

So I have started thinking I should let go of all that crap.  Scary right?  What will be my motivation to become better if I'm not always telling myself how much I suck at life?  How will I ever lose weight if I don't remember how fat, ugly, lazy, pathetic, and worthless I am?  How will I become a better sister, daughter, and friend if I don't remember how prideful and selfish I am?  And if I did let go of these thoughts I might go wild!!!! Without telling myself these things I might eat every cake, cookie, ice cream treat in the valley! Oh the pounds!  I might yell and scream at every person in my family for the rest of my days! This is really scary for me and very hard to think of letting all those thoughts and feelings go. It is something I have held onto.  It has been my "hope" for change.  It is deep inside of me.  Pulling it out seems not only hard and scary but also seems like it could be a painful process.

I think this is where faith comes in.  I have to make that step into the dark.  I have to let go of all that crap trusting that the Savior's love and power will be enough to help me reach my goals and motivate me to change.  I have to trust that the difficulty in doing this and any pain will be for my good and provide me with an opportunity to grow.

When the spaces within us are filled with shame, self-hate, and guilt there is no room for our Savior's love or really any kind of love. We are rejecting one of the greatest gifts available to us because of the Atonement; and that is peace, joy, and hope.

I know that the Savior's love will fill the deepest voids within the human heart and soul.  All we must do is allow it.  Let the love in by letting go of the hate.

I have personal experience with this and it is a beautiful thing!  So light and free and happy.  I truly believe the number one motivator for change (righteous desire for change) is LOVE!  This is something that takes practice.  But every time I think "Look to Christ" and let go of the hate he truly does lift me up to more than I could ever be trying to change in my own way.  He knows best.  I love Him, I am coming to know Him. I am learning to define myself through Christ.  I am good and can do good because of Him.

And again I repeat the scripture-

Matthew 11

 28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

 29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light.

The Atonement Actualized

http://thefamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Jesus.jpg

In my past I have pondered on the following thoughts

How can I come closer to my Savior Jesus Christ.
How can I know him.
How can I understand how the atonement actually works in my life.

At times the more I studied the more complicated it seemed but as I have patiently continued to study, seek, and ask I have come to see how beautifully and simply the atonement works in our lives.  I do however realize that I have much more to learn, but I am grateful for the pieces I have been able to put together.  I am excited to implement this understanding more consistently into my daily thoughts, ideas, and actions. 

I have found that we come closer to Christ as we give service:

“He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.  If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be; if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.”

-John 12:25-26

This is an eternal principle.  I believe life in the kingdom of God will be one centered on service.  So if your not a big fan of service you better learn quick. That is why I believe we have been given the great blessing of learning to serve now, in mortality, its an opportunity to practice up for heaven :)    To be truly happy here on earth and in the eternities service must be a part of our lives… and not just any kind of service but charitable service.
 “the most important attribute of Heavenly Father and of His Beloved Son that we should desire and seek to possess within our lives is the gift of charity, “the pure love of Christ”.  From this gift springs our capacity to love and to serve others as the Savior did.”

Elder M. Russell Ballard said

How do we obtain this kind of service, charitable service? Well just as it is said in Mosiah 2:11 “Serve the Lord the God with all thy heart, might, mind, and strength.” We must start with our heart and fill it with charity!

 The greatest service we can do for another is to share and teach the love of Christ. The best way to teach a person this is to love them in the way the Savior loves.  To act as a disciple and be an example of Him to all.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ you represent Him.  You bear the name of Jesus Christ and all the responsibility that goes along with it.

So if we are to love as the Savior loves or serve as he serves,

How does He love?

FIRST:

The Savior understands that the greatest thing in the world is the human soul and that it is of infinite worth. He does not look upon us for who we were, what we are, but He does have eyes that see us for what we can become as sons and daughters of God.  He sees our divine worth and potential.

SECOND:

He understands each of perfectly.  He understands our feelings, our thoughts, our actions, or circumstances.  He knows, he understands, he affirms.  Therefore he can have true charity for us.  

THIRD:

He is humble in all of his intentions.  The Savior does not require acceptance or change from us, he loves us UNCONDITONALLY.  We do not have to accept  Him or His teachings to be loved by Him. 

He does not expect anything in return, no reward or recognition or glory.  Christ gives all glory to the Father.  He glorifies him in all He does.

ACTION:

To have a heart full of charity and to have the ability to love and serve as He does we must learn to be as He is.  We must recognize the essential worth, basic goodness, and god-like potential within every human soul. Charity is based on faith that people through Christ have innate potential for good, change, development, and growth. And then we must show it. We must not judge another until we have a complete understanding of that person.  Until you have really listened, really cared, have viewed it from their view and they agree you understand, you have no right to judge and therefore cannot make wise judgment. When there is quickness proclaiming another’s thoughts, opinion, or ideas as true or false, the worth of the other person is denied.

As Disciples of Christ it is important to listen and to care.  As we truly understand and listen to others they will feel loved, respected, they will feel important, valuable; they will be able to trust you, and the Lord. Listening and understanding is the quickest way to love a person by filling an important need within every human being.

As service is given it is important to remember that the Savior was full of humility and service is cannot be considered charitable without humility.  There cannot be any expectation as we love and serve those around us. Charitable service does not have any stipulations or requirements of the person that is being served. They whom we serve have their agency and we should not seek to take that from them.  All we can do is love them through understanding and charitable service.  It doesn't promise any reward or recognition to the one giving the service.  Humble charitable service is given freely because one understands the divinity of a person and loves God; it is the pure love of Christ. Service is done in God’s name and all glory is given to Him on high.

One of the greatest blessings of serving others in a way that requires us to see them the way Christ does and loving them in that way is that we will also come closer to the Savior. We will have a greater understanding of His love and compassion after we have practiced it ourselves.

We come closer to Christ as we practice and learn His love. We become more humble because we begin to see ourselves as Christ sees us.  We see the divine worth in not only those around us but within ourselves.  We begin to see the power of Christ's love working dialing in our lives because we have served others in this way.  The atonement then becomes more real.  We experience the great blessing of the Savior’s love, acceptance, and peace.

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure”

Moroni 7:48

Let us Oft Speak Kind Words to Eachother

 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

                                                                               -Mark 12:31

In our world there is much darkness.  There seems to be much cynicism, negativity, sarcasm, and harshness.  Our world is one of competition and comparison.  In our roles as husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, co-workers, and all others we have power through the speech we use to bring light, hope, joy, and peace to those we interact with especially as members of the church who have the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Most of us go through our day not thinking much on how we communicate with others, it seems simple, it is something that we have all learned since we were young.  I have been learning, especially in the last year the importance of my choice of words and the tone of voice I use as I speak with those around me.  I have just started to scratch the surface of understanding the powerful impact my words have on those around me and how others words have shaped who I am.  I have started to see how my words and how I say them can have a major weight on the way a person sees themselves and the world.  I recognize that I have the greatest influence within my family.  I can hurt and tear them down more than any other. At times I have caused much sorrow, hurt, and confusion and often without even recognizing it.  I have learned that some of things I have said to my family, good and bad have stuck with them and really had an effect on them.  I am grateful that I have started to see this and that through the atonement I can begin to change.

I would challenge you all to take a day and pay special attention to the way you speak to others. What words are you using?  What is your tone of voice?  How are they receiving the words you say?  Are your words full of faith, hope, and charity?

Because the way we communicate is so built into us from years and years of learning and practice it is not an easy thing to change.  I know every day I mess up in some way.  The way we put our words together and the tone of voice we use is such a delicate matter when we are aware and working to change it.  Much patience and prayer is required as we strive to become more like our Heavenly Father in this way. 

Today I would like to share with you a pattern of thought I have had to change in order to change the way I speak to others and to fill my words more consistently with charity and love.  I have learned that the way we speak to others is a very close reflection of the way we speak to ourselves. 

About a year ago I recognized the harsh way I spoke to myself.  I was so negative, sarcastic, unhopeful, and impatient.. I used these negative thoughts as my “motivation” to change.  At times it worked but it was a very temporary and fleeting change.  I decided I wanted to make more lasting and permanent change in my life.  I began seeking ways to do that.  Through the scriptures, prayer, and the spirit I have started to see the pride that came with my negative thinking patterns.  By thinking so poorly about myself I was denying the Savior’s atonement to work in my life.  I did not trust enough in his power to let go of my “motivating” negative thoughts.  I needed those thoughts!  Letting them go was a scary thought.  But as I did the savior’s love and forgiveness filled the spaces that had been occupied by my negative thoughts.  As I moved forward with this pattern of thought, thinking positively about the things I could do because of Jesus Christ my life began to change.  The way I view people changed.  The way I spoke of myself and others changed drastically. 

We must be humble and let go of our doubt, fears, and insecurities.  These thoughts will not motivate us for great lasting change.  These thoughts are those that Satan uses to bind us but with faith in Christ, not in ourselves, we can escape them. The saviors love will feel the deepest spaces within the human heart and soul if we empty them of negativity and allow his love, light, and hope fill those needs us. 

When we rely on our Savior in this way and we are filled with his light we are able to see others the way he sees us.  When we understand that the Savior looks upon us with love, hope, and great patience we realize this is how we should look at those around us. 

We must recognize that those around us are trying to.  They have their own struggles.  They have their own insecurities. When a person speaks to us in a mean way we can try to remember that the way a person speaks to us may very well be the way they speak to themselves.  They need our help.  We can love them the way the Savior loves by giving encouragement, hope, and love in our words. By our response to them we could change the whole conversation, we may even impact the way that person views themselves or the world.  We have the spirit.  We can bring hope and light to those around us.  I hope that we may be humble in accepting Christ in our lives that we may have a greater influence on those around us to look toward him as well.  As we speak with the spirit we speak the words of Christ. 

A Freeing Thought

I have learned an important lesson this past week thanks once again to the love of my life, Paul :)... He is pretty awesome! 

So I am a pleaser, as I think most of us are in someway.  Much of my self-esteem and self-worth throughout my life has come by knowing that my close family and friends, and Heavenly Father are pleased with my decisions.  Now because I am not perfect (and won't be anytime soon) at times this has really made life hard for me.  I have had to learn that this is not something I need to depend on.  I want to rely more on the hope found in the fact that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father and in the Atonement of His son Jesus Christ. 

As we go through life we are labeled.  It is hard for people to change their beliefs/expectations of how we are or have been as we work to change and improve our weaknesses into strengths (Ether 12:27).  I have found this can be very discouraging.  This is where the atonement comes in :)!  Christ will help us to forgive those who poorly judge us or fail to recognize our efforts.  This was a difficult thing for me to accept... Forgiving someone for not being as accepting/loving/forgiving as I would hope they would be or as Christ might be.  I felt like this was my pride and my problem. To a degree it is but we also can't let harsh/unfair judgments of others affect us in a negative way.  In that way we need to forgive.

 We do not have to be discouraged because this will not help us change, this adds a HUGE weight that makes it hard to climb up our mountains.  The only one we need to count on for encouragement, support, and love in our efforts is Christ.  Yes, it is nice to have support and recognition from others for our efforts but it is not a reliable source!  For me, focusing on Christ and remembering that HE does see and recognizes my efforts to change/improve the moment I try or even think to try is so motivating and hopeful.  My friends/family will not see the change that quickly.  Also, no one knows my true intentions or the desires of my heart BUT Christ does!!!! How beautiful.  How freeing.  He will climb every step of our mountain with us, every slip, every fall, every leap, every inch he will encourage, support, and carry us!  Remember Heavenly Father loves us and blesses us for every small effort we make :) gosh I love this stuff!  It is so hopeful!  We must count on Christ and Heavenly Father not the world.... we will NEVER be enough for the world.  Unfortunately that often applies to those that are closest to us (I am grateful to be beginning to learn this lesson before I am a mother... I imagine this will be VERY applicable haha).

This brings me to my next point.  How are we doing in recognizing the small efforts of those around us?  Are we tearing people down for not improving as quickly as we believe they should be improving?  Or are we lifting, strengthening, and encouraging others the way the Savior does?  We are here to learn to be like Christ.  So should we not be trying our best to love and support those around us with the hope and kindness that Christ would?  I hope to pray for eyes to see the desires of those around me and to recognize the small efforts those around me are making.  In my experience people shut down with criticism and disappointment but when their efforts are appreciated and recognized and they are praised for the small successes in life it makes it that much more possible and desirable to continue to TRY!  The point is none of us are perfect and none of us are perfect in working to be perfect or improve.  Let us see the small efforts.  Let us lift.  Let us encourage.  Let us support.  Let us bring hope.  Let us point others to Christ.  Let us love. 

I have to add a quick note here.  My mother is a wonderful example of this.  She is so supportive.  Even when I mess up for the zillionth time, she is right there encouraging me.  She believes in me.  She supports me and most of all she loves me.  She sees my potential and lifts me.  Oh I love my mother.  There are not words to express how much her support and love have meant to me through the years, especially recently.  I am grateful for the important role she plays in our family.  She has provided us with hope and optimistic encouragement.  I am so grateful Heavenly Father has sent her to me.  and me to her.  There have been times where she has had our whole family on her back as we climb our mountain... she is strong, she is beautiful.  I love her!

I hope we will rely on the Savior and on our Heavenly Father for identity, support, love, and encouragement.   I hope we will help others feel important, supported, encouraged, loved.  I hope we will be optimistic!  When we have the gospel what is not to be optimistic about?! I love life.  I love people.  I love the opportunity we have to support and love one another as we all climb this mountain of life learning to be more like Christ.  :)

Can we ever do enough right?

This past week has been one full of blessings! Well every week is I believe its just this week I have chosen to see those blessings.

God really loves us. He loves us SO much.  :) I can feel it, I believe it, it is something I know. We keep acting in the smallest ways we can, our hope will be stronger and our faith will increase.  We will be incredibly happy and full of joy for it.  That is what our Heavenly Father desires for each of his children.  This is possible not because we are doing enough "right".  We can never do enough.  He just loves us and blesses us for trying. I believe this is a difficult truth to accept.  So often we do good things only to compare them to what we haven't done, should have done or still need to do.  Don't get me wrong, it is VERY important and a huge blessing to see our shortcomings, that way we know where to improve.  BUT where is our focus? and when we look at those shortcomings is it with a hope in Christ or with feelings of inadequacy and failure?

I have always believed that where your thoughts and attention are that is where you are going.  If we focus on the negative, what we have done wrong or haven't done right or even the part of something good we did that wasn't the best (well sure I read my scriptures but I didn't read enough).  If we always think this way where is the hope and where will the desire come to keep going and keep trying if we always somehow fail. It doesn't. Guess who's plan that is? Yep. Satan. A tricky little device of the adversary.  He finds great success in this sneaky little plan to get us caught in a cycle of doubt, fear, inadequacy, hopelessness even when we do try to do good.

Now this is where gratitude comes into play...

Where does everything good in life come from?

Heavenly Father through His son Jesus Christ

So- if we focus on the good in our life (yes, even our small teeeny tiny efforts) what are we focusing on?

CHRIST!

This is how we recognize God's hand in our life.  This is how we "live with gratitude ever in our hearts" (pres monson).  We are not grateful when we only see our shortcomings, we are prideful.  But when we focus on those small happy efforts and tiny triumphs in our lives that is where we find hope and the power and desire to continue doing happy little things.

But the only reason we can think in this way is because of what the Savior has done!  That is just it.  We are not required to do everything the BEST or perfectly right.  We only must try! Then we accept his love into our lives.  I do not believe my sin to be the heaviest thing on the Savior's heart.  I believe my unwillingness to have hope is very heavy on his heart, even a huge slap in the face to what he has done so I can have hope.

Well this was all scattered, hope it made a tiny bit of sense :)

Be kind to yourself and remember the Savior.  I promise as we see the good, God WILL maximize the outcome of our small efforts! We will be happy and will be well on our way to becoming more like Him.

Together we love. Together we walk. Together we glorify God.

So it has been a long long time since I wrote... almost a year. Sad! Not that anyone reads these but in the past it has really helped me.  Well I guess I should mention that I journal almost daily so I have not completely fallen off the wagon.  I think I should figure out how to make my blog cute with photos, videos, ect. but that's not my talent, probably never will be. Maybe I could hire someone... Chelsey? haha.

Okay so I guess I will slowly write about the things I have been learning the last 10 months

About a month ago I learned a very important lesson about the role of Jesus Christ in my life.  I was upset because of some choices of family and friends.  When I turned my thoughts toward my Father in heaven,  my heart was full!  I had never felt so loved or so peaceful in my life.  There is not a person on the planet who can love me in that way.  I was so grateful.  We can not count on our best friends, our family members or anyone to always be there for us and never hurt us.  We are all human.  We all make mistakes.  The Savior does not.  He is ALWAYS there for us.  To love us and comfort us.  He will never leave us.  Not for anything.  I could have felt upset at my friends and family many times but I do not need those feelings because they can be filled with the love of Christ.  and really that is all I need. I am grateful for the love of family and friends.  I am grateful for the gift of forgiveness.

Speaking of forgiveness.  I recently had a light bulb or what I like to call "no duh" moment.  I realized how beautiful the gift of forgiveness is.  This is a form of trusting in the Lord that helps us forgive and love those around us.  When we are upset at someone or unforgiving, really we hold malice towards the Savior.  The perfect sinless one.  The man who has suffered that we might live.  Because he has taken upon him the sins of every man he has taken upon him the suffering and punishment that come from those sins.  He takes the persecution, hurt feelings, and anger of those who will not forgive.  He knows and understands the sinner.  And because he does you and I do not have to.  All we have to do is love and trust in the role of Jesus Christ.  What a gift! What a blessing to have such a heavy burden lifted if we choose.  I do not think I am able to express how I feel or the things I was blessed to understand.  It is difficult to put in words.   I guess I will share a personal example.

Paul (my husband) will be the example because he is awesome :).  He loves me and forgives me almost automatically.  He understands the role of the Savior and trusts in him.  Paul does not feel the need to reprimand me or be upset with me when I do dumb things(break his laptop, lose his things, be impatient, bossy, prideful and the list could go on and on) . This I believe is because he trusts that the Savior is teaching me what I need to know at the times I most need to learn them.  He is humble and patient as he waits for me to learn and grow.  He knows that his struggles are hard for him and imagines that mine are as hard on me as his are for himself and he has no desire to make my struggles more difficult.  He trusts the Savior understands and that is enough for him to be patient, kind and loving.  He seeks and recognizes the good.  I am so grateful for Paul and all that he teaches me, mostly through his unconditional love and example.  He gives me the love, support and encouragement I need to be the best possible me.  His love is giving me the confidence to move forward each day in faith, improving, and moving closer and closer to my Heavenly Father.  Just the way he lives helps me recognize where I need to improve and desire to do it and his unconditional love provides me with the hope I need to act. Thank you Paul Richard Garn!

This leads me to something else important I have realized about Paul.  As I look back on where I was a year ago just before we began dating to where I am now I see the role Paul has played in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  Paul has loved me in a way I never thought possible.  Selflessly.  As I have realized this I have learned about the way the Savior loves me.  Paul I feel has been a stepping stone for me(and probably many others) to the Savior.  And now the Savior is acting as my stepping stone to Heavenly Father.  By the way he loves I am beginning to grasp a smalllllll particle of how much love God has for me.  AH! there is just so much love going on around here.  It's really crazy.  But what I have learned from all this is what I want to be.  What role I want to play.  I want to be a part of all this love.  I want to love everyone in a way that points them to Jesus Christ and then from there he will point them to Heavenly Father.  This is how I can serve Him who loves and blesses me so much.  I want everyone to feel what I have been blessed to feel and I want to glorify my Father in Heaven. I got a lot of work to do and I am grateful for it. And for all the Lord is teaching me. :)

I love the picture in my mind of all of us walking towards Heavenly Father together.  We need each other.  We can not do this alone.  Lets LOVE and get on home! :)

S.T.O.P.!.

Okay I made this post quite a while ago... like last summer but I never posted it, not sure why but here it is.

Well been a while since I last posted.... Lots of great things have happened in my life the last two months. I am so blessed and my heart is full of gratitude.

I have a little acronym that I have wanted to post. I'm grateful Heavenly Father blessed me with these thoughts. The acronym is S.T.O.P.!

S ervice
T ime
O ptimism
P rayer
! ntegrity

This is something to remember anytime there is temptation, negative thoughts or feelings, sin or just a check to be sure I'm moving forward and keeping my will in line with my Father in Heaven's will.

Service:

If you are serving others your focus turns outward. Sin is inward and selfish. When we serve our fellow brothers and sisters we serve God. When we serve God he will give us the strength we need to bear our trials and burdens.

Time:

The times is NOW! Focus on the present. What are you doing right this moment that is bringing you closer to your Heavenly Father? Satan often gets our thoughts lost in the past- the bad memories and the good memories. He can also distract us with the future. Either by encouraging us to fear the future or getting caught up in making goals and plans. Yes, goals and plans are important, reflecting and learning from our past is vital to our progression.... but if we aren't careful we can allow these thoughts to keep us from action. and action is now, in the present. The present is the only thing we can control. Do not let Satan distract you from progression. Learn from the past. Be excited and make your goals for the future. But LIVE in the present and ACT!

Optimism:

hope and faith in the Atonement. Believe through Christ sins can become strengths. This does not mean the trial or temptation will be taken, only the power to act the way Christ would in the situation is increased. It increases as faith is practiced and hope through Christ is cultured in the heart. How EXCITING the opportunity is to face hard things... this is an opportunity to work with Jesus Christ and come closer to Him.
I am grateful that God allows me to recognize where repentance is needed in my life and the opportunity to access the atonement.

Prayer:

Gratitude. Gratitude toward God. If we are being truly grateful we cannot hold within our hearts the desire to sin. Being able to express gratitude to the Lord, especially during times of temptation takes much humility and faith. Pray for gratitude. Pray in thanks. Pray to recognize blessings in life. Pray to recognize God's hand working in our lives and in the lives of those around us each day.

!ntegrity:

So I know the upside down exclamation point is a stretch but it was an afterthought... a very important after thought.  Integrity is everything.  It is who and what we are, do and say when no one is around, or so we think, Santa Clause... okay I mean Heavenly Father is always watching :).  If we can remember that we want to be honest people full of integrity then this thought can help us in times of temptation.

I am not sure if this will mean anything to anyone else but it was a pretty neat learning thing for me :) 

When you are struggling or being tempted just S.T.O.P.!.