So I am a pleaser, as I think most of us are in someway. Much of my self-esteem and self-worth throughout my life has come by knowing that my close family and friends, and Heavenly Father are pleased with my decisions. Now because I am not perfect (and won't be anytime soon) at times this has really made life hard for me. I have had to learn that this is not something I need to depend on. I want to rely more on the hope found in the fact that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father and in the Atonement of His son Jesus Christ.
As we go through life we are labeled. It is hard for people to change their beliefs/expectations of how we are or have been as we work to change and improve our weaknesses into strengths (Ether 12:27). I have found this can be very discouraging. This is where the atonement comes in :)! Christ will help us to forgive those who poorly judge us or fail to recognize our efforts. This was a difficult thing for me to accept... Forgiving someone for not being as accepting/loving/forgiving as I would hope they would be or as Christ might be. I felt like this was my pride and my problem. To a degree it is but we also can't let harsh/unfair judgments of others affect us in a negative way. In that way we need to forgive.
We do not have to be discouraged because this will not help us change, this adds a HUGE weight that makes it hard to climb up our mountains. The only one we need to count on for encouragement, support, and love in our efforts is Christ. Yes, it is nice to have support and recognition from others for our efforts but it is not a reliable source! For me, focusing on Christ and remembering that HE does see and recognizes my efforts to change/improve the moment I try or even think to try is so motivating and hopeful. My friends/family will not see the change that quickly. Also, no one knows my true intentions or the desires of my heart BUT Christ does!!!! How beautiful. How freeing. He will climb every step of our mountain with us, every slip, every fall, every leap, every inch he will encourage, support, and carry us! Remember Heavenly Father loves us and blesses us for every small effort we make :) gosh I love this stuff! It is so hopeful! We must count on Christ and Heavenly Father not the world.... we will NEVER be enough for the world. Unfortunately that often applies to those that are closest to us (I am grateful to be beginning to learn this lesson before I am a mother... I imagine this will be VERY applicable haha).
This brings me to my next point. How are we doing in recognizing the small efforts of those around us? Are we tearing people down for not improving as quickly as we believe they should be improving? Or are we lifting, strengthening, and encouraging others the way the Savior does? We are here to learn to be like Christ. So should we not be trying our best to love and support those around us with the hope and kindness that Christ would? I hope to pray for eyes to see the desires of those around me and to recognize the small efforts those around me are making. In my experience people shut down with criticism and disappointment but when their efforts are appreciated and recognized and they are praised for the small successes in life it makes it that much more possible and desirable to continue to TRY! The point is none of us are perfect and none of us are perfect in working to be perfect or improve. Let us see the small efforts. Let us lift. Let us encourage. Let us support. Let us bring hope. Let us point others to Christ. Let us love.
I have to add a quick note here. My mother is a wonderful example of this. She is so supportive. Even when I mess up for the zillionth time, she is right there encouraging me. She believes in me. She supports me and most of all she loves me. She sees my potential and lifts me. Oh I love my mother. There are not words to express how much her support and love have meant to me through the years, especially recently. I am grateful for the important role she plays in our family. She has provided us with hope and optimistic encouragement. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has sent her to me. and me to her. There have been times where she has had our whole family on her back as we climb our mountain... she is strong, she is beautiful. I love her!
I hope we will rely on the Savior and on our Heavenly Father for identity, support, love, and encouragement. I hope we will help others feel important, supported, encouraged, loved. I hope we will be optimistic! When we have the gospel what is not to be optimistic about?! I love life. I love people. I love the opportunity we have to support and love one another as we all climb this mountain of life learning to be more like Christ. :)
